Anger II - The blame games we play

Apr 05, 2020, 20:01 IST 480
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The blame games towards others
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The blame games towards others

When something goes wrong, we often blame the other person or situation, and direct the rush of energy toward them: “Something he did made me so angry,” “I was coerced into a situation where I had no choice but to be angry.” Excuses for skipping meditation are so many, but there is only one reason to do.

The blame inward
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The blame inward

Blame can also be turned inward. We beat ourselves up, but not in a constructive way: “I am so hopeless! Why do I keep making the same stupid mistake again and again!” or “When will I ever learn!” When the blame game turns inward without contemplation and awareness, it is also destructive; we continue to stay stuck in the same patterns.

Transcend the awareness
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Transcend the awareness

Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” This applied here means: We will have to move to a different level of consciousness to transcend the awareness in which the anger arose. The immediate need is to reach out to a higher plane of awareness. So, "Being aware" means not allowing the mind to express itself based on impressions, prejudices or judgments. We need to train our mind to accept the reality of the situation and work from there.

Signs of Non-Acceptance
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Signs of Non-Acceptance

Complaining and blaming others are signs of non-acceptance. In one sense the blame game turns us into helpless victims, while, in another sense, it leads us to solicit someone else’s agreement and sympathy through gossip, justifying why it is not our fault; we are not the ones who need to change. We avoid looking at ourselves by pointing the finger elsewhere.

Supressing Anger
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Supressing Anger

And then there is another type of reaction – that of suppressing anger, leading to a pressure cooker of emotion building up inside. Does that help? Eventually the energy will implode within us, or go cold and stagnate, leading to an undercurrent of resentment and bitterness. It will have its own consequences and will surely express itself in both mental and physical health issues.

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